October 1 2005

Well gang, this week we have a tale to report that is truly inspiring. A tale of good ol’ American self-reliance.
The two hurricanes that have scoured the gulf coast recently, have put such a strain on local civil services that individual citizens have been forced to look to themselves for their survival.
So it was, that in a neighborhood that had no electricity and no gasoline and no ice, that the local boys found themselves with one of their number who drove a refrigerated beer truck, and another who drove a gasoline tanker that had just lost an axle.
The women and children had all been sent to relatives out of town or out of state, and the men-folk had stayed behind to protect their homes.
When it become known that a refrigerator truck loaded with beer was located in the neighborhood, with a disabled gasoline truck around the corner, the beer truck sort of naturally became the central meeting place for the home guard. They knew that they had enough gasoline in the tanker truck to run the refrigerator truck until the beer ran out.
As they gathered around the truck, drinking beer and discussing the possibility of looters, and what they would do if any of them showed up, they started, as is only natural, to begin comparing fire arms.
"Hell," one of them said, "I was in a platoon in the Marines that wasn’t this well armed."
And then some body got the idea of taking plywood panels off of some of the windows and spray painting on them: "Drunks with guns……U loot, we shoot." Letting the looters know "Up Front" so to speak.
Everybody thought that was a great idea, and they were soon placed all over the neighborhood.
Finally a digital photo of the group was taken. They left the fully automatic weapons out of the photo of course. And a guy with a generator made color copies and tacked them to what trees and telephone poles that were still left standing.
It must have worked, because as it turned out, no looters ever showed up.
But that didn’t stop the boys from putting a few holes in a squad car that was cruising with his lights out, and word has it that a couple of insurance adjusters ran off with a few pellets of bird shot in rather sensitive areas.
Once the police found out that they had gasoline and cold beer, however, they could do no wrong. The only thing that looked like possible trouble was the two holes that an over zealous member of the crowd put into a Coast Guard helicopter.
Finally, when the beer and gasoline companies asked their respective truck drivers what had happened to the missing beer and gasoline, both truck drivers wagged their heads disgustedly, looked skyward and said "Those damned looters!"
If these guys aren’t members of our club, they should be.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary