November 12 2005

There’s old news again this week gang. This chronicle appeared in the newspaper June 23rd 1999.It starts off with…
Bad news.
This months meeting of the Montrose Beer and Gun Club has been cancelled.
Vernon Hotchkiss and Max Spandau were out at the range the other day, decorating the club house bar for the big get together that had been planned for June 27th.
After the decorating was completed, Vern and Max decided to kick back and soak up a couple of beers, which turned into a decision to just go ahead and finish the keg.
At some point during this process sheriff Tom Long showed up to check on the appearance of the decoration project, and gave the boys his hearty approval of the job that they had done.
Here is where everything gets a little fuzzy.
As far as anybody can tell, the three were seated at the bar, and Vern had just shown Sheriff Long his new Ruger 44 Magnum 91/2 inch barrel Super Redhawk revolver and was attempting to put it back into the holster on his right hip.
Due to the length of the barrel, Vern had to raise the pistol almost to his armpit in order for the muzzle to come up to the awaiting holster.
Well, on the way down, the hammer snagged on Vern’s vest, came to full cock, and what with Vern’s finger on the trigger, the weapon discharged before it reached the holster.
The unexpected round entered high up on Vern’s right gluteus maxi and exited low on same. Continuing through the seat of his bar stool and striking the concrete floor, the errant round came back up through the bar stool, entered Vern’s left gluteus maxi from below and exited a couple of inches higher up.
Not to be stopped, the round continued on, shattering the bowl of Tom Long’s favorite pipe. Which happened to be in his mouth at the time.
"That rips it! This range is closed until further notice!" Sheriff Tom Long is said to have screamed, as he stomped of to his truck muttering colorful Southwestern expressions.
Vern will be O.K. However, he fears that he will be the butt of a lot of jokes.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary