December 3 2005

Well gang, there’s exciting news this week. While the warmth of Thanksgiving is behind us, as is our yearly over-dose of tryptophan, and the consumerism of Christmas lies ahead with all it’s glitter and manic orgy of spending, those of us in the Montrose Beer and Gun Club are looking forward to our first gathering at the Club House and Ranges in years.
The meeting will be held on December 31st, New Year’s Eve.
In a year that is filled with ludicrous controversy, Christmas Trees have to be called "Holiday Trees" and public Nativity scenes are somehow considered offensive or embarrassing, we in our club this New Year’s Eve. will be observing the patently uncontroversial marriage of beer and guns, to sustain us in our hour of doubt and confusion.
The festivities will be kicked off at the first crack of dawn on Saturday December 31st.
Since the airstrip has been nicely repaired, The Confederate Air force is scheduled at first light, on the 31st, to land a B-29 loaded with Shiner Bock and St Arnold’s Amber along with what they refer to as "light ordnance".
What "light ordnance" turns out to be might be interesting when you consider that the B-29 was used in the past to haul atomic bombs around.
We’ll just have to wait and see.
Now that it looks like things are finally running smoothly, we at headquarters are starting to get requests from members who want to build houses out at the ranges.
These people envision an exclusive community like those surrounding golf courses, only instead of homes offering views of the seventh fairway let’s say, they would command a view of the mortar range, or perhaps the anti-tank range.
There would be a lot of details to be worked out, like home insurance for instance, but you have to admit, the idea has a certain charm.
Our members in the construction business think that it’s a great idea, while the more conservative types express the fear that it would ruin the ambience of the ranges.
Oh well, it’s hard to please everybody.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary