August 20 2005

There’s not much news this week gang, but it’s good news. Phillip T. Lucre, our great club benefactor has greased the palms of a couple of Tom Delay’s henchmen and it looks like beginning next week we will be sending members of the club house and range committees out to our facilities to look around and see what has to be done to spruce things up and have an old fashioned meeting out there….maybe there will be some news of "Smokey" our range mascot.
And speaking of "Smokey"…Back in 1999, in preparation of a club meeting at the ranges, Frank Mauser was out at the ranges tidying things up and restocking the walk in coolers with beer. As usual Frank was wearing his western style string tie. The one with a .357 magnum round secured to each end.
What with the hard work of stocking suds and nursing a bed of coals in the barbeque pit for after the chores were done, Frank removed the string tie and tossed it onto the club house bar. When the tie hit the bar, one .357 mag. shell was left hanging off the edge swinging back and forth, inching a little lower with each swing, soon to fall off the bar completely.
At this point, "Smokey" our cat turned the corner of the bar and spotted what was obviously a snake creeping off the edge of the bar. Swaying in a hypnotic reptilian fashion, as snakes are wont to do.
"Smokey" stalked for a swing or two, and then pounced. Delivering a vicious right hook with claws fully extended.
At this moment, it is reported that the other .357 mag. cartridge leaped off the top of the bar, striking "Smokey" smartly on the top of his skull. Apparently, feeling that he was dealing with a two headed snake, "Smokey" attempted to retire from the field, in what has been described as sheer panic. However, the string tie was snagged in his right claw and followed him out of the door of the bar, with the trailing .357 round striking him a time or two in the process.
Hitting the patio, "Smokey" tried to execute a hard right hand turn in order to attempt to lose his pursuer. Only to lose his footing on the smooth tile of the patio floor. This resulted in a slide that was only stopped when "Smokey" slammed into the barbeque pit.
On impact, the string tie flew straight up in the air and came down in the coals in the pit.
"Smokey" was just recovering his bearings, when the two .357 rounds went off in quick succession, showering the now dimly lit patio in a profusion of mesquite embers. When "Smokey" finally found traction, he removed himself from the scene in a blur, and wasn’t seen again for four days.
Ironically, the barbeque pit was an "Old Smokey".
"Smokey" has always led a very interesting life.