January 14 2006

Well gang Helga has taken a week off this week, it being a slow news week. And in our club, I guess you could say that no news is good news.
She did get an e-mail, however, that contained some famous quotes and wanted them passed on to the faithful…..and here they are;
" Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer that I drink, I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the breweries, and all their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘ It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver’" -- Jack Handy.
Here’s one from Frank Sinatra; "I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day".
From Steven Wright comes; " Twenty four hours in a day, twenty four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not".
Benjamin Franklin gives us: "Beer is proof that God wants us to be happy".
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. one afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here’s how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this…. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest and weakest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers
Ah, yes, words of wisdom.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary