November 25 2006

Well gang, first of all , we at club headquarters hope that you all had a nice peaceful Thanks Giving holiday. Second of all, Tim Brock an ex line backer from a great Texas college did not have one.

Thanksgiving itself was nice enough. Good food, friends and family, and all like that, but the next day, Friday, didn’t go all that well.

  A&M was playing Texas at 11:00 AM, and he needed some new sweat sox and underwear, so right after breakfast he told his wife Glenda that he was going to the mall to pick the things up, so as to be ready for the big game at 11:00PM. Glenda looked at him with squinted eyes. “You’re not off to play football with those other idiots are you? When are you guys going to grow up?”

  “Honest honey, I’m still sore from last week.” said Tim, as he headed for his car.

  When he got to the mall, the store hadn’t opened yet, which is the way that he had planned it. Get in, get what he needed, get home, put some ribs on the grill, and watch the pre-game show.

  It was going to be a great afternoon.

  As he approached the department stores front doors, he noticed that there was quite a crowd. Almost all of them women.

  Apparently, there was a sale of some kind.

  Yes there was.

  After a few minutes the doors opened up, and revealed that the sale was in the lady’s section of the store. And wouldn’t you know? That was the section right inside the front door.

   Between Tim and the men’s section of the store were about three hundred women on a mission. Entering the store was like coming out of the tunnel on game day. All they needed was a hundred piece band to complete the picture. Well, Tim wasn’t making any forward progress, so he leaned into the crowd a little bit. That was when the woman, he assumed she was a woman, dropped her right shoulder and gave him a shot, with perfect, well coached follow through. As Tim started to go down he reached out for something to hold him up.

  What it turned out to be was a manikin, wearing a black lace bra. The bra came off, the manikin came down, and Tim went down with the bra in his hand and the manikin on top of him. Shouts of “pervert”, “sick bastard”, and the like emanated from the crowd, punctuated by kicks and blows from hand bags that may have had bricks in them. Tim, quickly realed that it was in his best interests to leave socks and underwear for another day, and left the scene with a noticeable limp, a bloody nose, and what he suspected from experience, was a cracked rib.

  When he arrived at home, his wife saw the limp, the bloody nose, and no shopping bags. When he came into the kitchen, she hollered crossly,”You’ve been playing football haven’t you?’ Then she smiled, pecked him on the cheek and said “Watch the kids for a while, I have to go to a sale”.
Then she got a glint in her eye, and a certain set to her jaw, and walked out to the driveway.

Tim watched her go.

She was a keeper alright.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary