February 4 2006

Well gang, "Beaux" Roberts, who everybody calls "Beaux Bob", was once the owner of an apparently indestructible microwave.
He had purchased it five or six years before he got married, and a couple of years into his marriage pried off the original brand name on the machine and used "J. B. Weld" to affix the name "Black and Decker" on it.
He liked it, his friends liked it, but his lovely bride "Rikki" complained for a couple of years that a name like "Black and Decker" belonged out in the garage, and not in her kitchen.
Well, one evening after work, he was having his usual brace of Myer’s and Coke, and his cell phone buzzed.
"The little lady." he smiled.
The phone was on his ear for about three seconds and his brow knit and his face blanched white.
Gradually, he relaxed however, and said that he’d be home after one more drink, and hung up smiling.
"What was that about?" asked a near-by friend.
"My two-year-old son. For some reason had a need for microwaved Gummy Bears. Seems to have set it on 'high' for as long as the thing could be set for, and then lost interest while waiting and just walked off. It turns out that Gummy Bears burn."
"But everything’s alright now?"
"Yeah, the fire’s out, but the microwave is a goner." said Beaux.
His friend frowned. "How did the kid get on top of the countertop?" he asked.
Beaux looked at his friend with hooded eyes, "I swear he must have a degree in engineering from Georgia Tech or something. He wants to get somewhere, he builds a ladder or a bridge."
"You must be proud," said his friend. "You keep your guns locked up, don’t you?"
"Sure," said Beaux. "In a safe that he probably won’t be able to crack until he’s at least five-years-old."
They both grinned and Beaux picked up his change, left a couple of bills on the bar, said "Well, I guess tomorrow we get ourselves a new microwave." and headed toward the door.
His friend turned around and said "Beaux!"
Beaux stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
"You have a dog, don’t you?"
"Yeah." said Beaux.
"Well," said his friend, This new microwave, maybe it should be smaller than the dog."
"Way ahead of you my friend." said Beaux, and continued out the door, smiling contentedly.
Just how badly do you think that Rikki wanted to get rid of that microwave?

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary