March 11 2006

Well gang, we’ve got ourselves a slow news week this week. There have been several injuries to folks while drinking beer and shooting guns, but only one fellow who is in a coma, even approaches being serious, and he twitched his left big toe on last Wednesday and so appears to be on the mend. So that’s pretty good news.

Mr. Bush, who didn’t know anything about weapons of mass destruction, or Katrina, or UAE port deals or much of anything regarding events on the home front, is playing to his strong suit, which is foreign policy.

Word has it that he is being well received on his Eastern Tour, with tens of thousands taking to the streets of India and Pakistan in spontaneous demonstrations to express their love and admiration for him. What a guy. We’ll be demonstrating here too, before long.

The really big news is that Spring Training Baseball is here. There’s really nothing quite like it.
It would be nice to see it on TV of course, but there are so many dynamite shows on TV in the middle of the week that there is just no room for Spring Baseball. But then again, baseball is really a radio kind of a game anyway, and maybe that’s the way it should be.

What with all the new players being tried out by both teams, you can go a whole inning without knowing which team is up to bat. If you could see the uniforms on TV, that would take all the mystery out of the thing.

At any rate, Spring is here, and along with Spring comes St. Patrick’s Day. Club members are brewing up special batches of beer, and it has been hinted that for old time’s sake special shipments of guns are being smuggled in from Ireland for the festivities.

In Boston, they’re saying "what goes around comes around". You collect the money to buy the guns for the Irish, and then when they don’t need them like they used to, you buy them back.
Now that’s an Irish business deal if there ever was one.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary