May 6 2006

Well gang, there’s embarrassing news this week. Our old friend and fellow club member, "Skip Mariner", got himself a hankering for alligator gar this past week, and talked a couple of buddies of his into going on a gar hunt.
The technique that "Skip" opted for, was to utilize a flat bottomed John boat and twelve gauge shotguns loaded with double ought buck.
Not as elegant perhaps as fly fishing, let’s say, but when the gar were gently rolling on the surface of the bay or a river and a John boat was being powered by a quiet trolling motor, it was a highly effective gar getter. The boys all met at "Skip’s" place and were loading beer, shotguns, sandwiches and a gaff into the truck, when "Skip’s" wife Mary, having caught wind of what they were up to, came out to the driveway for a palaver.
Mary let them know that there was no way in hell that they were going to burn one of those disgusting creatures on her brand new back yard barbeque.
Without batting an eye, "Skip" went to the garage and came back with one of those "Old Smokey" barbeque pits, a bag of char coal and some starter fluid and loaded them into the John boat.
He kissed Mary good-bye. He and the boys climbed into the club-cab pick-up, and he and the boys and the John boat were off on their great adventure.
Looking back on it, the boys all agreed that it probably wasn’t a good idea to start the coals in the "Old Smokey" as soon as the John boat got under way.
But they thought at the time that if they nailed a gar right away, they would want the coals ready to cook. With that gray powdery look to them.
As they trolled quietly along, sipping beer, they wondered why they had never heard of anybody else taking a barbeque pit out in a John boat.
It just made so much sense. You had a nice cool breeze, and you could fish, cook and eat, all at the same time.
It was heaven.
Or it would have been, if that gar had shown up when everybody was still sober. But it didn’t, and they weren’t.
In the mad scramble to be the first to get his gun off safety and bag the gar, the boat rocked quite a bit. The guy with the side by side lost his balance, knocked over the "Old Smokey", sent two barrels of double ought buck through the bottom of the John boat, and shredded the plastic container of starter fluid.
In seconds, the boys were treading water, watching a flaming boat sink.
"Skip" surveyed the situation and immediately hollered, "We’re in luck boys! The igloo has floated. We have something to hang onto, and plenty of beer for our swim to shore!" Sometimes you gotta wonder about these guys.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary