June 3 2006

Well gang, it’s the beginning of June. It’s that time of year when the central committee of our club, better known as the Innebriotti, hold a meeting to officially decide whether or not we hold a benefit this year.
Until the meeting is held it won’t be official, but the traditional formula sets the date for this year as Saturday October 21st , 2006.
According to club records, it will be The First Second Annual Montrose Beer & Gun Club Cook-off and Musical Extravaganza to benefit kids who wish things were better. Nice and succinct, don’t you think?
Rounding up a quorum for a meeting, as usual, will be a lot like herding cats, as they say. But it should take place in a week or two, and we will get the word out immediately. As far as is known, there are no members of the innebriotti incarcerated at this time, no current injuries require hospitalization, and only one is being treated for what is being referred to as " dissociated behavior".
So far so good. Speaking of good news, our lawyer, Wolfgang Schellcasing, informs us that the status of the clubhouse and shooting ranges is about to be cleared up.
The club is not to be held culpable in the case of two DEA agents that were vaporized on our property, and we will not hold the DEA responsible for the destruction of our black powder shed along with twenty-six kilos of black powder.
Needless to say, the possibility of using the clubhouse and shooting ranges has a lot of people around club headquarters walking with a little more bounce in their step.
In closing, there appears to be no truth in the rumor that Governor Perry of Texas has been negotiating with south Texas ranchers to donate some sixty thousand acres of land along the Mexican border. With, of course, the understanding that we would occupy the space with our usual supply of arms and ammunition.
You can rest assured that we will never become involved in anything that smacks of geo-politics.
Just plain ordinary politics is plenty bad enough.
Is it ever.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary