September 30 2006

Well gang, as you may recall, last week it was reported that plans to have a dunking booth at this year’s benefit were cancelled.

Girls in t-shirts being dunked into a tank of water when a contestant hit a target with a ball would have been fun to watch and would have raised some money for the kids.

But our medical advisor pointed out that since all the girls that volunteered for the event were over seventy-five years of age, there might be a health risk in the event that a cold front came through on the day of the benefit. Women of that age, wearing just a t-shirt, being repeatedly dunked in cold water on a cold day, could suffer heart attack, stroke, or pneumonia.

That’s why the dunking booth was cancelled.

The ladies, however, are questioning our motives. They are saying that the event was cancelled because we don’t think that their bodies are attractive enough for such a display.

They are extremely upset and are thinking of suing the club for discriminating against mature women, and they are considering holding a demonstration at the benefit site on the day of the benefit, the West Alabama Icehouse.

It is also rumored that a motorcycle club of women sixty-five and older are going to drive by the Icehouse that day on their Harleys, and flash the crowd at the benefit.

The motorcycle club is called "The Grey Hogs" and are known for causing disturbances where ever they go.

Our lawyer, Wolfgang Schellcasing, is trying to smooth things over, and maybe he’ll have things taken care of by October 21st.

And speaking of October 21st, There’s not much time to enter a team, but it’s never too late to be a sponsor or to find a white elephant to donate to the silent auction.

If not, just plan to show up and enjoy the vibes

Hopefully, "The Grey Hogs" won’t cause too big a fuss.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary