September 9 2006

Here’s strange news this week gang. Two of our members have been taken into custody by a branch of the United States Government.
Which branch of the United States Government we can’t say, because that is classified information.
Which two members of our club we can’t say, because their names are officially being withheld for national security reasons.
The crime for which they are suspected cannot be divulged for national security reasons also.
Because of the information blackout, their place of incarceration can only be guessed at, and the few sparse clues that we have, point to their being held at either Guantanamo Bay, or some place in Bulgaria.
In an effort to shed even a little light on the matter, our club’s lawyer, Wolfgang Schellcasing contacted an old friend in an agency that will go unidentified.
This old friend, while feeding pigeons on a park bench in a park that can’t be mentioned, told Wolfgang that " It’s all about the pistachios."
"Pistachios?" Queried Wolfgang with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, pistachios." said the pigeon feeder. "The California pistachios are
colored naturally, the ones from Iran are dyed red."
"So?" said Wolfgang, "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"
"Well," said his friend, "Buying only red pistachios from Iran indicates a possible allegiance to Iran, and their being red in color just might indicate Communist leanings.
"I see." Said Wolfgang. Although, he saw nothing at all. "Does that mean that my friends are in trouble?"
"Not at all." Said his old friend, standing up and brushing pop corn kernels from his hands. "Everyone knows that the agency your friends are dealing with is all cloak and no dagger…that’s why they can’t reveal their identity."
"So there’s nothing to worry about." Said Wolfgang.
"Unless they send them to Bulgaria." Said his friend.
" But the President said that they won’t do that anymore."
"Yes, he did say that didn’t he?" said his friend. And he looked at his watch, and walked off.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary