January 6 2007

There’s absolutely wonderful news this week gang. Wolfgang Schellcasing, our club’s lawyer, has informed us that the powers that be have decided to return to us our clubhouse and shooting ranges and all the land associated with them. Including the right to use them in the manner to which we have become accustomed.
Wolfgang expects that it may have something to do with sympathetic Democrats in Washington who have heard how tom Delay and his crowd have treated us in the recent past.
Yes, we have friends. Including Winchester, Remington, Glock and Ruger, who all intend to send us money to help with the expense of getting things up and running again.
They know who their customers are, and appreciate us.
The repairs needed are considerable. There has been storm damage to the roof of the clubhouse, and serious erosion has occurred to both the heavy mortar and anti-tank gun ranges.
Vandals have stolen the TV sets from all seven of our outhouses and have ripped all the copper coils from walk-in coolers two, three and four.
Once again, we hear from our friends. Shiner Bock and St. Arnold’s breweries have volunteered to not only repair our refrigeration systems, but to stock them with at least one load of beer, free of charge.
Cracks have appeared on the jet runway again and several accountants in KBR tell us that they have so much money to hide, that they can handle all the concrete work we can find for them, gratis.
To top it all off, schedule permitting, Kinki Friedman would like to have his band play the first night of the grand reopening.
And grand it will be too.
We have not used the clubhouse and shooting ranges since 1998. There are many new members who have never been out to the clubhouse and ranges.
It probably isn’t too much of a stretch to think that there are those who even doubt the very existence of our clubhouse and ranges.
Well, all that is going to change. The new comers are going to find out what this club is really all about.
The mood at club headquarters is one of euphoria bordering on the giddy.
Then again, considering the events of the last nine years, it probably wouldn’t hurt to keep your fingers crossed.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary