February 24 2007

Well gang, there’s an embarrassing tale to tell this week, It seems that one of our members, Sean by name, was having a few pints at a corner pub, Clancy’s by name, and was just a wee tad in his cups, when he pounded on the bar and ordered another round.
Clancy, who was talking to a young couple at the other end of the bar, hollered over his shoulder "You’ve had more than enough already Sean. Be a good lad and go on home with ya." Sean knew Clancy was right, and looked at the front door some five feet away or so. He gripped the bar with both hands, leaned into the bar, and then shoved himself with all his might toward the door.
He wasn’t going to make it.
So, he stretched his arms out all the way, and he just managed to grasp the big "U" shaped handle on the inside of the door.
The door opened out, and his momentum carried him through the front door, at which point he lost his grip on the handle and was deposited smartly on the sidewalk out in front of the pub.
After a moment to catch his breath, he found that he couldn’t stand up, and heaving a deep sigh he began crawling home. Grateful that he only lived around the corner.
Upon finally reaching home, he searched through all of his pockets two or three times, found his keys at last, and almost dislocated his shoulder reaching up high enough to reach the keyhole.
After he crawled inside, he nudged the door closed and it automatically locked itself.
There was no way that he was going to negotiate the stairs to the bedroom in his condition, so he dragged himself up on the living room sofa and passed out.
And that is where his wife found him the next morning.
"Oh damn it all Sean" she wailed, You’ve gone out and gotten yourself shamefully drunk again last night.!"
"I swear to god love!" protested Sean, "I haven’t been near a pub in two days!"
"Oh, don’t be givin’ me that malarkey." Said his wife. "Clancy just called. You left your wheel chair at the pub again last night."
Well, at least he didn’t shoot himself in the foot again this time. Or did he?

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary