May 12 2007

Last week it was reported that Vince Bruno was almost certainly eaten by a grizzly bear in Yosemite National Forest while backpacking with some club members.
Well, that turns out to be not the case. When the group reached the lake where they were to have met Vince, there he was! Buck naked and suffering from exposure, but alive and in one piece.
According to Vince, when he reached the lake ahead of his pals, he thought it would be good idea to have a couple bottles of that wonderful "Honey Berry" home brew that he had been lugging around.
He pulled a bottle out of his backpack and hung the pack on a tree branch and was about to open the first bottle, when the tree branch broke, the pack fell on some rocks under the tree, and smashed all the "Honey Berry" brew.
Acting quickly and resourcefully, Vince snatched up the pack, held it over his head, and using the pack to filter out the broken glass, sucked down as much of the brew as he could.
By the time the pack stopped dripping, Vince had quite a buzz, and was completely soaked in brew. With the lake right there, Vince stripped down to just his boots to do a little laundry. That’s when the grizzly showed up. And Vince executed a 9.5 swan dive into the lake.
With his eyes just above the water, Vince watched as the grizzly ate his brew-soaked clothing. Bells and all. He bit the top off the leather sheath to the pepper spray cartridge too. The bear’s party ended abruptly right there, and he took out several decent sized trees leaving the scene, and didn’t come back.
"I told you I knew what I was doing." said Vince.
His pals looked at each other. "Never a doubt." said one.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary