June 30 2007

Sheriff Tom Long, who last week had one side of his handle-bar moustache shot off, stood firm on his decision to close down the Montrose Beer and Gun Club shooting ranges until further notice. Negotiations continue.
There is other club news, however, Paul Vickers decided to have a bunch of club members over to his spread for a pre-fourth of July bar-b-que and unfortunately, fireworks.
Now everybody knows that the secret to good bar-be-que is low heat for a long time. Which, of course, means plenty of time to drink beer.
Well, by the time that night fell that Sunday night, the steer wasn’t the only thing that was cooked to a turn.
Harking back to celebrations of their youth, Paul and his brother Pete decided to have a brotherly duel like in the old days. In other words, Roman candles at twenty paces. Good clean fun, with double vision adding just a touch of spice.
All went well, with spectators enjoying the contest and it’s close calls along with the participants. Until one of the fireballs from the Roman candles bounded into the truck holding the fireworks.
This livened up the party considerably. The truck’s open back doors ( an old Brink’s armored truck) focused the blast in the direction of the perfectly bar-be-qued steer, burning it to a crisp. The truck itself, became a runaway missile, and only stopped after it had crashed through the door of the barn, setting the barn ablaze, and scaring the wits out of twenty dairy cows.
The resulting stampede knocked over the food on the picnic tables, ruining the rest of the food and inflicting some serious bruises on those guests not able to get out of the way.
The rest of the night was spent roasting hot dogs over the dying embers of the barn, and finishing off the beer.
Everybody said it was the best damn Fourth of July party ever, and they all begged to be invited next year.
You might say that Paul Vicker’s social standing has sky rocketed.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary