November 3 2007
Well gang, after a glorious weekend when we raised $15,000 for kids who wished things were better, good news if there ever was good news, we find ourselves having to report the bad news having to do with fellow members involved in Halloween observances.

It seems that pumpkin-carving competitions topped the list of festivities gone awry. Somehow.

In as much as beer and guns would almost inevitably be involved with gatherings of our members, it should be of no surprise that the occasional mishap just might occur.

And as luck would have it, the occasional mishap did indeed occur.

One incident that we feel incumbent upon ourselves to report was one that involved jack-o-lanterns that were to be lit with black powder.

The carving of the pumpkins was a competitive work of art, as it always is. But the designs were crafted in such a manner that, as the black powder, which was the source of light burned down, or up as the case might be, the warping of the design caused by the heat produced gave a tortured progression of the deteriorating design that produced a spectacular, horrific twisting of the original carving. Now since no one had ever tried this kind of competition, no one really knew how much black powder to use. Or for that matter, the best types of ignition or fuses to employ to obtain the maximum effect.

Reports from the scene say that the more conservative user of black powder produced the more horrific slow crumbling of already ghastly pumpkin faces , in a crowd pleasing display of decaying monsters.

On the other hand, those contestants that used larger charges of black powder produced effects that not only happened in a flash, but sent burning pieces of pumpkin flying into the crowd that, if it were not for medics on stand-by, would have resulted in serious injuries were they not treated immediately.

There are rumors that newer members of the club, quite a few actually, are considering bringing lawsuits against not only those members that had added a little spice to the proceedings, but against the club itself.

They don’t make ‘em like they used to gang.

And that’s the truth.

They just don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary