March 28 2008
Last week, the IRS decided to audit our good friend Boudreaux, and summoned him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Boudreaux showed up with his attorney. The IRS had demanded $23,000 in taxes from Boudreaux due to unreported income.
The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure that the IRS finds that believable."
"I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it.” said Boudreaux. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thought for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Boudreaux says, "I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thought for a moment again, and said, "No way, it’s a bet."
Boudreaux removed his glass eye and bit it. The auditor’s jaw drops.
Boudreaux says, “Now I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell that Boudreaux isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Boudreaux removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes that he has wagered and lost three grand, with Boudreaux’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Boudreaux asks. " I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and urinate into that waste basket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but looks carefully and decides that there’s no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Boudreaux stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Boudreaux’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really." Says the attorney. "This morning, when Boudreaux told me he’d been summoned to appear in person before the IRS, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and urinate all over your desk, and that you’d be happy about it."
He might be one hell of a gambler, but you gotta hope that Boudreaux’s got another attorney lined up.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary