May 31 2008
The clubhouse and ranges remain closed. There is news however, about the Fifth Annual Texas Triathlon & Benefit that was held over the weekend. As you may recall, the triathlon involves drinking beer, riding bicycles, and of course shooting guns, in that order.
There are ten legs to the course, and in each leg the contestant drinks a beer, pedals one mile over rough terrain, dismounts, shoots a beer can at 25 meters, and then repeats the process.
The winner is determined by a formula, which takes into account the time it takes to finish the course, and the amount of ammunition required to hit all ten of the beer cans.
The money raised is used to help pay the medical bills of all those injured during the competition.
A spokesman for the event, an overweight chap named "Hippo" Raleigh, reported cheerfully that while there were quite a few lacerations, and several broken bones this year, there wasn’t anything you would call "life threatening". And only two people were accidentally shot.
He went on to say that, as usual, a few contestants got carried away with the spirit of the thing, and went around the course more than once. Our Webmaster, David Medium, was one of those.
On what would have been point 27 on the course, if indeed there had been 27 points, David hit the beer can and returned to mount his bike for point 28.
It was at this juncture that his mechanic, who called himself simply "Steve-o" handed David a fat tired bicycle off the bike rack that utilized a coaster brake instead of caliper breaks. David didn’t notice the difference in bicycles until he was streaking downhill towards that rocky switchback on leg 28.
David squeezed the handlebars until they were almost flat, but naturally, this did not affect his speed. Bouncing over rocks and tearing through tree branches, john drew roars of approval as he finished the approach to point 28 in record time. On a bicycle that no longer had round wheels.
Record time not withstanding, "David" was disqualified at point 28 because he didn’t hit the beer can in 50 rounds or less.
His mechanic "Steve O, apologized for his error and said, "You know? Next year I don’t think I’ll drink beer for beer with David. Maybe, every other beer."
David looked at "Steve O" " Maybe we should cut back on the Jack Daniels too."

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary