June 7 2008
Well gang, not much going on lately, so we'll repeat a chronicle from January 2005'
This past week, Karl Skidmore was invited to go skiing in Colorado by his old friend Hans Schluss. Hans had a nice chunk of land up that way and he had a nice surprise for Karl when he got there.
Hans had set up a bi-athalon course on part of his property. That’s the one where you shoot a few rounds from a rifle and then ski for a mile or so, and then shoot a few rounds, and ski for a mile or so, and so on and so forth.
Well Karl, being a member of the Montrose Beer and Gun Club, was quick to realize that introducing beer into the format of the sport would be like adding cayenne pepper to a pot of chili. Hans liked the idea, and since the scoring was based on a formula of points scored while shooting and the time taken to finish the course, it was decided that the beer would be chug-a-lugged after each round of shooting.
Everything went well for the first few rounds, but deteriorated rapidly after that.
The accuracy of the shooting was the first thing to go, and then the quality of the skiing, to coin a phrase, Just went down hill.
What finally ended the competition, was when Karl tried to ski between two trees only to find that it was only one tree and he was seeing double. Karl dislocated his shoulder and broke his nose.
Hans was a couple hundred yards behind him at the time, saw what happened, and skied to the rescue, only to get there with too full a head of steam. Hans crashed into the very same tree, breaking his left leg in the process.
The wives were waiting for them at the finish line with the four-wheel drive as they limped over the line helping each other and using their ski poles as crutches.
"I hope you’ve learned yourself a lesson,” she scolded.
"Your dog gone right I have!" growled Hans as he gingerly slid into the SUV. "Next year that damned tree ain’t gonna be there!”
We got to sign him up. He’s one of us.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary