January 10 2009

The holiday season is over, and a system fraught with fair play has finally determined what the number one college football team is in America. Thank God that’s over. Now we can turn our attention to beer and guns, with maybe a little politics thrown in on the side. And speaking of beer and guns, some of the boys participated in what has become an annual event this past Thursday. They gathered at a ranch to watch the BCM Bowl, or whatever it’s called, bringing with them what was left of batches of Holiday Home Brew and their hand guns. The ranch owner, who is quite a hand with electronics, patched up old TV’s through the year, about thirty of them, placed them in the pasture back of the house, and plugged them all in.

The sets were arranged in a triangle shape and the whole pasture looked like a giant Christmas tree all lit up. When the ball game was over, everybody grabbed a beer in one hand and a pistol in the other, bellied up to the rail of the pasture, and proceeded to shoot out all the TV’s in celebration of the end of the college football and Christmas seasons. By the time somebody shot out the last TV set that was the top of the tree, and was about 80 yards away, there was quite a pile of brass along the pasture rail. In a nice touch, old Granpa Feeb, who doesn’t see very good anymore, was given a TV set all to himself at a picnic table, and a brick. The only thing was, that his arm wasn’t as strong as it use to be and the brick bounced off the glass of the TV set, made a little "tink" sound, and just lay there on the table.

Frustrated, the old boy picked up the brick, hauled off, and gave it everything he had. Well, he wasn’t as accurate as he use to be either, and the brick hit the upper right hand corner of the set, came straight back and hit the old man right in the nose. And broke it. One of the boys handed the old man a .357 Magnum. Standing about five feet away with blood running from his nose, the old man emptied the entire cylinder into the offending TV. You gotta believe, that was one dead TV set.

Now remember, true life adventures of the MB&GC can only be heard on 91.1 FM, on the Larry Winter’s "Spare Change " show. And it wouldn’t hurt a bit if you scraped up a little spare change and donated it to the station. Whatta you say?

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary