August 8 2009

Well, gang, there’s bad news this week. While everybody at club headquarters was breaking their chops trying to get ready for this years benefit, a bunch of uncoordinated people attested to the fact that they were just that; uncoordinated people. The cooks as always, were concentrating on being creative and plate-attention-getting.
The emergency wards in our section of Texas were being overwhelmed with, of all things, cooking injuries. While oddly enough, the usual gun-shot wounds that attend our normal club member gatherings were at an all time low.
So much so, that our club insurance company was making noises like we just might be eligible for a reduction in premiums.
Now, that would be good news.
However, while shooting competitions were much fewer due to the interest in cooking competition, it soon became apparent that injuries incurred while cooking and drinking beer, were becoming about the same if not more, than those sustained while shooting guns and drinking beer.
You can bet that the insurance companies took immediate note of that happen stance.
Their representatives presented us with the suggestion that maybe if we cut down on our beer drinking at both shooting AND cooking competitions, that in all likely-hood club injuries would decrease in both categories and our premiums would go down dramatically.
Well, any idiot knows that. However, while chili with no cayenne and no jalapenos won’t upset anybody’s stomach, it won’t be chili either. It’ll be like Campbell’s tomato soup with a little hamburger thrown in.
We WILL drink our beer.
At any rate, don’t expect our insurance rates to go down any time soon. And be ready for some of our best cooks to be sporting bandages, eye patches, and different looking mustaches and eyebrows than they had the last time you saw them.
This year’s benefit is Saturday, October 24th. Assuming that all of the cooks have recovered from injuries sustained in the pursuit of gustitorial epiphany, the chow is going to be kick-ass. . .As usual.

Till next week
Helga Biermeister
Secretary